Tuesday, April 19, 2005
And That Little Bastard (of Self-Pity) Shot Me In The Ass!
I think I've figured out why I haven't really been using this thing much: it's that I may not be as willing to share my life in diary form as I was at one point. It was so much easier in 2003 when my life was all routines and nothing much happened away from that. 2004, around the time I stopped the first time around started becoming a weird roundabout period for me.
And it never really stopped spinning, that's the problem. I think when things stabilize a little bit, that's when normalcy will come back around in this. This has kinda been my 12 months where I've had my wild oats period (albeit at 29/30 it was later than most) and I need to put a kibosh on it for the sake of my own sanity. Fast.
Of course, there is also the very real possibility that I'm just stressed out from work, responsibilities, my roller coaster of a personal life, the stupid little adventures I always seem to find myself in, even though I might be passed the point of having them. It's adulthood, right? Although I can't help but feel right now that everyone else has it a little easier than me, even if that's not accurate.
And I hate that I just wrote that, because most of the time I try to be as non-melodramatic as possible. I mean, that's a game my family would play, and just last week I took the liberty of finally pointing that out. Well shit, it only took 30 years for me to say it.
I don't know...ever get the feeling that they were right about you all along and you only accept it when it's too late?
And it never really stopped spinning, that's the problem. I think when things stabilize a little bit, that's when normalcy will come back around in this. This has kinda been my 12 months where I've had my wild oats period (albeit at 29/30 it was later than most) and I need to put a kibosh on it for the sake of my own sanity. Fast.
Of course, there is also the very real possibility that I'm just stressed out from work, responsibilities, my roller coaster of a personal life, the stupid little adventures I always seem to find myself in, even though I might be passed the point of having them. It's adulthood, right? Although I can't help but feel right now that everyone else has it a little easier than me, even if that's not accurate.
And I hate that I just wrote that, because most of the time I try to be as non-melodramatic as possible. I mean, that's a game my family would play, and just last week I took the liberty of finally pointing that out. Well shit, it only took 30 years for me to say it.
I don't know...ever get the feeling that they were right about you all along and you only accept it when it's too late?
# posted by Josh @ 6:21 PM 
